Not going out
by CassieHalliday
Summary: Clint gets a girl's number and wonders why Tony insists he gets rid of the evidence before Natasha shows up. One shot, tiny bit of Clintasha


**Just a fun one shot. If you like, pease take a look at my current avengers OC story, Sparks. Enjoy!**

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The young doctor giggled girlishly as she gave Hawkeye a final check. "You've passed your medical exam with flying colours, Agent Barton." She smiled. "With any luck, you won't be back until your next annual check up. Though that would be a little less fortunate for me." Clint looked confused. The doctor seemed to think that was cute. "Tell you what. If you ever feel like you need a doctor, just call this number." Still grinning, she nervously picked up his hand and wrote a number on it with a biro pen.

Hawkeye coughed awkwardly. "Uh... Thank you. I'll be sure to do that." With one last confused look, he pushed himself of the bench in the medical bay and out the door. Doctor Fay gave him a wave through the glass of the window, throwing in a "call me" sign.

Clint nearly walked straight into Tony, who was lurking around the med bay waiting for him. "You had better wash that off right now." He warned. "Seriously."  
"What? Why?" Clint questioned. Tony checked the surroundings furtively before pulling him into an alcove.  
"It's not safe."

"It's a phone number, Stark. What is wrong with you?"  
"What's wrong with me! What's wrong with you?" Tony defended. Clint rolled his eyes and tried to step out of the crushed alcove, only to be yanked back into the shadows. "Just tell me one thing." Tony insisted. "Are you going to call this woman?"  
"No. I'm pretty sure she was crazy." Clint replied, looking worriedly over his shoulder.  
"Then take the number off your hand. Just do it."

"Apparently she isn't the only one who's crazy." Clint rolled his eyes. "I'm leaving."  
"You're right. She isn't the only crazy one." Stark poked his head out from the alcove, looking all around before whispering conspiratorially. "Natasha is."

"What? Nat is not crazy! She's my partner!" Clint protested.  
"She is terrifying." Tony insisted. "Would you want to be on her bad side?"  
"No, but..."  
"So remove that damned telephone number from your hand, Katniss!" He pushed. "Before you get us all in trouble. You, me, and your little doctor friend."

"This has nothing to do with anything. How will a number on my hand get us in trouble with Natasha?" Clint questioned, sighing. "A straight answer."  
"Are you blind! Or just stupid?" Tony cried. "Romanoff will not like this at all, not one bit."  
"Why would she have a problem with me getting a girl's number?"  
"Take it someone who has plenty of experience with women. They do not like to think that you look at other women. Ever." Tony advised.

"Wait, do you think..." Clint trailed off as he finally realised what Tony was going on about.  
"Do I think what?" Tony urged.  
"Do you think Nat and I are... Together?" He whispered, wary of any passing agents.  
"Uh, yeah. You are, aren't you?" Tony looked oblivious.  
"No! We're partners! We aren't... Dating!" Clint defended.  
"Uh, yes you are. I have a nose for these things. Don't try and hide it, you're not fooling anyone." Tony argued.  
"Seriously, Stark, we're not going out. We are close partners. For work. Nothing else. I swear."

"You swear what?" Steve happened to be walking down the corridor, and passed the conversation.  
"Nothing..." Clint was cut off by Tony.  
"Hey, Cap, did you know that Legolas here isn't dating Romanoff?" He said incredulously.  
"What?" Steve looked confused. "They are!"  
"That's what I said." Tony confirmed.  
"But you two are so..." He trailed off, searching for the word.  
"I know exactly what you mean." Tony continued for him. "They're so..."  
"They're a pair." Steve realised.  
"Yes!" Tony exclaimed. "They're Hawkeye and Black Widow, like... Peanut butter and jelly."  
"Knife and fork." Steve contributed, pleased.  
"Stars and stripe..."  
"For the last time, we are not a couple. Natasha and I have worked together for a long time. That doesn't mean we have a... Thing." He ended lamely.

"So, are you saying that there's nothing between you? Nothing at all?" Tony seemed disappointed. Clint nodded.  
"Yes. Finally."  
"Do you know her favourite colour?" Steve put in.  
"Black." Clint answered automatically.  
"Her birthday?" Steve asked again.  
"June twenty-third."  
"Her favourite food?"  
"Borscht, because it reminds her of home. But she also likes shawarma."

"You know everything about her!" Tony stole Steve's point. "That has to mean something."  
"It just means I know my partner well." Clint excused. "Now, if we go back to the whole point of this discussion, I do not have to immediately get rid of this number because Natasha will not care."  
"Like I said. Natasha is an international assassin. She is terrifying. She could torture you in ways not even known to man. Take that damn number off of your hand, before she gets here!" Tony demanded.

"Before who gets here?"  
"No one." Came Tony's hurried answer, as he turned to face the woman in question. Romanoff looked sceptical.  
"If you're trying to hide something from me, it would be wise to talk a little quieter." She advised. "Tell me what you were saying about me."  
"What? Who said we were talking about you?" Tony skimmed over. "Anyone see the game last night?"  
"Don't change the subject, Stark. I'm the only woman around here. Hence 'she'. Tell me or I'll make you." Natasha threatened.

"You're not the only woman we could be talking about." Steve offered. "There's the doctor that gave Clint her number..." He stared quizzically at Tony as he furiously gestured at him to stop talking.  
"You got a number?" Natasha turned to her partner.  
"Uh... Well..." Clint stuttered, suddenly scared.  
"Was she cute?" The black widow... Smiled?

"Wait, what?" Steve and Tony both asked at the same time. Barton looked relieved.  
"Don't think I'll call back. I think she's what you call a crazy fan." He answered. Tony interjected.  
"What? You're not bothered by this?" He cried.  
"Bothered by what?" Natasha frowned.  
"He got a number. From another woman. Another woman made a pass at him."  
"So?" Natasha still looked as confused as Clint had been before.

"If I could break in quickly." Steve said politely. "What's Clint's favourite colour?"  
"Green. But he tells people it's black because he doesn't want to be called Robin Hood."  
"That is not true!" Clint folded his arms defensively. "Why did you tell them?"  
"When's his birthday?" Steve continued.  
"March fifteenth." Natasha answered.  
"And his favourite food?"  
"Uh... Chinese. But he like shawarma too." She finished. "What is this about?"

Clint put his head in his hands. "They think we're going out." He muttered.  
"What? Did I hear that right?" Romanoff asked.  
"They think we're going out." Clint repeated, louder this time. "They thought that you would be angry because I got another girl's number, because they thought that we are together."  
"That's crazy. We've been partners for years." Natasha said.  
"Exactly!" Clint shook his head.

"Come on. You know everything about each other! He answered those same questions about you!" Tony pushed.  
"We know each other well. That doesn't mean we like each other... That way!" Clint insisted.  
"Nothing. Never. Not one kiss. Ever?" Tony sighed.

Clint sighed. "Well, there was that one time..."  
"That doesn't count, we were undercover as a married couple." Natasha put in.  
"No, I was talking about the other time." Clint answered. Steve and Tony's jaws dropped.  
"In Rome or in Lebanon?"  
"Rome." Clint remembered.

"How many times have you guys kissed?" Tony asked.  
"Uh... Several times. Some were undercover." Clint excused.  
"And the rest?" Steve looked curious.  
"Well, those were..." Clint screwed up his face, trying to think of the right word.  
"Heat of the moment." Natasha completed.

"So you admit you have kissed in 'the heat of the moment'? But you still insist there is nothing between you at all?" Tony looked incredulous.  
"Yes." Clint and Natasha said at the same time.

"They are so in denial." He whispered to Steve.  
"What did you say?" Black widow and Hawkeye asked in sync.  
"Nothing!" Steve and Tony replied, quickly backing away down the hallway.


End file.
